Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Alternative Methods of Marketing

Hello Out There To Our Lovely Audience,

First of all, we at The Norris Brothers would like to apologize to those of you who check this site regularly (So, all five of you) for the extreme lack of new material from our beloved Dirty Larry.

I feel an explanation is due to you, but it probably won't be a very satisfying one.  To those of you who don't know, the guy who makes the magic happen, Brandon Norris, is still in school and therefore has a lot more pressing responsibilities to fulfill other than keeping up with a WebComic and he hasn't had a lot of time during the school year to keep up with Dirty Larry.

Quentin has less of an excuse.  He's out of school and is just working a regular job while also writing on the side.  He's just a little stuck right now deciding where to take the Dirty Larry storyline while also balancing other writing projects (as well as procrastination.  So much procrastination).

But fear not Dirty Fans, Larry shall return, and as you can see, we're cooking up a fun continuing storyline that is introducing a lot of new and fun characters.  Be expecting a lot more of Filthy Steve.  Remember Sally from the Valentines Comic?  Yeah, she's coming back.  And some brand spanking new characters are going to be showing up as well, including Archibald The Rat and his nemesis Vincent Purrice.

For now, we'd like to give a wonderful shout out to Molly Norris for being awesome and putting up pictures of Dirty Larry out and about in the world to get the word out.





Cheers, Auntie Mo!  And thanks for the alternative advertising!

The Norris Brothers

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

To The Streetzz

Hello,

Well this is certainly awkward.  You seem to have caught us at a bad time.  We are currently living in the dark ages, completely scannerless and without technology we can use to upload the new Dirty Larry.  Don't worry, he'll definitely be back next week.

For now, we'd like to promote our new method of Dirty Larry advertisement.  If you have some spray paint laying around, you definitely shouldn't go out and make street art that supports Dirty Larry The Hobo.  If you send us pictures of it, we definitely won't put it up on the site or anything.

*Wink, wink*

Oh look, Brandon Norris totally not endorsing the act of street art.

Love n' Kisses,
The Norris Brothers

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Dirty Larry The Hobo #10

What ho!?

Has Dirty Larry found a lead?  Who is this mysterious Filthy Steve?  Who keeps breaking into my house and stealing all my food?

These answers and maybe others answered next week in the continuing saga of Dirty Larry!

See you next week,
The Norris Bros.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Dirty Larry The Hobo #9

Greetings All,

This week Larry is still trying to find a place to move his box, which is a lot harder than it looks.

Tune in next week when Larry finds a possible new home.

Love n' Stuff,
The Norris Brothers

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Dirty Larry The Hobo #8

Well folks,

Its been a good long time since you've heard anything from your favorite slightly deranged hobo, but rejoice!  For the time has come for Dirty Larry to return to the world of comics, this time in shimmery techni-black & white!

Today, Dirty Larry begins a new chapter in his life by packing up and finding a new place to live.  Let's watch and see what happens.


Tune in next week to see Larry's search for a home continue.

Love,
The Norris Brothers.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Sorry

Hello Lambchops,

Sorry I haven't written to you in a while.  Hope you don't feel lonely.  I've been busy stalking the sewers looking for my nemesis, the Great White Maggot.  He ruined a perfectly good meal for me two weeks ago and I swore revenge.  While searching for the maggot, I realized that I miss you.  Although I haven't caught that maggot yet, I did find this lovely sewer shark.  I hope that I can offer it as consolation for neglecting to talk to you.

May it warm your nights and bring good luck to your loved ones,
Larry D. Hobo


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Blind by Tim Norris

Hello Everyone,

We have another guest writer on the site today, another Norris brother (or Norris Uncle), Tim Norris, with his fantastic poem about Icarus.


Blind
Dadaelus a scholar and engineer
With the tools of an architect
Made it quite clear
That flight was possible and could be quite fun
But you should keep yourself grounded while drinking in the sun
Icarus scoffed as was his wont
Strapped on the wings and went for a jaunt
So they escaped the labyrinth and the fierce minotaur
They flew to freedom but didn’t get far
Before convincing himself
My brain is powerful and my arms are strong
They say “Father Knows Best” but this time he’s wrong
I’ll fly over the ocean and around the moon
I’ll fly to the sun if I want to and come back soon
Then an epiphany came, but a little too late
And we all know the crux of his fate
As solar heat melted wax Icarus realized in this case
The strength of his brain and body didn’t matter – no, not one whit
His last thought while plummeting was probably “Oh Shit!” 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Belated Valentine's Day From Dirty Larry The Hobo

Here it is!

Dirty Larry's first appearance of 2012!  Hope all you Dirty Larry fans are having...I mean...HAD a good Valentine's Day filled with love and chocolate and minimal amounts of crying in a corner.

Today we see our hero attempting to woo his one true love (who we definitely didn't just make up on the spot), Soup Kitchen Sally.  Watch as the suave Larry sweeps Sally off her feet.


Candies for Everyone,
The Norris Brothers

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Experiments in Creative Writing: Episode 2 (Return of the Clones)

Salutations,

In the last post, we found out what happens when Quentin Norris tells Lindsay Thompson to write a story about magical penguin cults.  In this post, we'll see what happens when the tables are turned.

After Lindsay Thompson had finished writing her harrowing tale of adventure and suspense, she gave Quentin Norris a prompt, which was: Write a story about a dandelion named Alex who is depressed because everyone is allergic to him.

More or less, Quentin followed these instructions, and thus:



The Utterly Depressing Life of Alex The Dandelion
By Quentin Norris  
            Once upon a time, there was a little Dandelion named Alex.  His parents were two flower seeds named Sophia and Charles.  They were planted too close to each other in the wet ground by two small human children whose parents warned them to spread the seeds away from each other.  As the two seeds grew, their roots eventually became entangled and they sprouted from the earth as a mutated Dandelion of whose name you are already aware. 
Because Alex was a Dandelion that was borne of two different flower seeds, he was very much unlike the other dandelions in the field.  His stem was as thick as a small tree trunk and he was almost as tall as a 5-year-old human child.  Large, pulsating veins wrapped themselves around his body and green, thick mucus oozed from the pores on his face.  Instead of shining with a bright yellow hue, like all the other perfect, pretty dandelions, Alex’s petals were the color of lukewarm vomit.
The field where Alex grew up was quite popular among the people in the little town on the other side of the hills that surrounded his home.  Various kinds of humans from the small community would spend their days in the field, from laughing children to courting lovers.  They would skip and giggle and run through the field, smelling each unique dandelion, until they got to Alex of course.  Alex loved the sight of the humans; they were so beautiful and happy.  All he ever wanted was for someone to smell him.  He would call out to them with his deformed, snaggle-toothed mouth, “Hello there, humans!  Come smell me!”  As soon as the sound of his raspy, cracked voice would reach the unsuspecting ears of the humans, they would always react differently, and it was always in a negative fashion.
The children would scream or cry.  When the courting lovers saw him, the bride to be would cry out and faint into the arms of her barrel-chested man.  This always hurt Alex deeply, for all he wanted was for someone to smell him.  Little did they know that Alex’s flowery petals contained the most intoxicating smell in the world.  Finally one day, a small, elderly blind woman wandered into the field.  She walked past every other dandelion crying out for her attention until she reached Alex, who quivered with excitement when she approached him.  She could smell something beautiful, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it reminded her of.  She came face to face with Alex, who was so happy that he was about to be smelled that he could hardly speak.  It was the first time that the depressed dandelion had ever felt joy.
The woman leaned close to Alex and inhaled deeply.  His smell was so beautiful that she regained her vision instantaneously.  Approximately two seconds later, she toppled to the ground, dead as a petrified mouse.  Unbeknownst to Alex, he contained deadly, mutated spores that caused immediate allergic reactions in the lungs of humans.  Alex became even more depressed at discovering this horrifying truth about his body.  He decided that he would never bring harm to another human being ever again.
Alex thought long and hard about what he should do.  Finally, he came to a decision about what needed to be done.  He took a deep breath, held his nose and mouth, then exhaled with great force, the way someone does when they are trying to pop their ears on a long car ride.  At that moment, Alex’s disgusting head exploded, green mucus flying all over the field and the faces of the pretty dandelions.  Unfortunately, Alex hadn’t thought about the fact that as soon as his life ended, the deadly spores inside his brain filled the air with a polluted cloud that spread throughout the world and eventually infected and killed every human being on the planet Earth.  20 years later, the empire of cockroaches had grown strong and mighty.  Finally, insects took their rightful place as the rulers of Earth.
The End
Note: Quentin would like to apologize to anyone who is annoyed or slightly offended by any scientifically incorrect statements about dandelions or flowers in general.

Much love,
Quentin Norris

Monday, January 30, 2012

Experiments in Creative Writing Episode 1 (W/Guest Writer Lindsay Thompson)

Hello Readers,

Well, here it is: The very first post of 2012.  It's not a Dirty Larry comic, but don't worry, Larry will be showing up very soon.

Today we have a special guest writer, Lindsay Thompson.

I should give some background to the story.  We were sitting in a coffee shop when Lindsay looks up from her schoolwork and says "What should I do now?"

I look up from my own work and respond "write a story about a magical penguin cult."

And that's exactly what she did:


The Tale of the Magic Penguin Cult of Missouri
By Lindsay Thompson

Once upon a time there lived a cult of magic penguins, high up in the trees of exotic Missouri.  They drank purple Kool-Aid and only listened to Sigur Ros. An emperor penguin named Miguel once suggested listening to Death Cab for Cutie. He was fed to the snaggle-toothed Smaarf that lived below.
One day, a salesman squirrel visited the Missouri penguin cult. He wanted to join the group, and after much conferring, they allowed him to drink the Kool-Aid. They didn’t realize that he wasn’t really a squirrel at all, but a monkey assassin dressed in a squirrel suit, sent by the U.S. Government. In the dark of the night, he killed all the penguins with nothing but a toothpick and a red balloon.
There is no longer a cult of magic penguins high up in the trees of exotic Missouri.
The End